Wednesday, March 3, 2010

IM Proud

Let me start from something from my sister's blog:

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He wasn't what I initially hoped for but I soon learned a little brother wasn't half bad. He was cute as a button and I loved teasing him until he cried, or bossing him around until he squealed. Then one day. Boom! He grew up. And I couldn't push him around anymore. No one could.

with LilBro and BigBro

Yesterday, I was up at six. The boys and I bought playing cards the day before. I promised to teach them Go Fish and Crazy Eight first thing in the morning. By 6:30 I had shuffled and dealt the cards. And then the mechanics. Tato argued that if he turned the card upside down the spade could be a heart. When did he turn into such a wise ass? I guess I didn't take into account little hands couldn't possibly hold the cards together. Or that four year olds look at everyone else's cards except their own. We did breakfast, moved on to puzzles then did a little TV when I needed to catch up on some work. Lunch followed then we were off to do what felt like a million and one errands. With the sun still up we managed more puzzles, more card games, then dinner. With MacDaddy away for the week , a slumber party for three in my room seemed like a good idea. We all piled in and called it a day thirteen or so hours later.

Somewhere under the scorching heat in Langkawi, Malaysia on this very day and in the time we managed to do all of that, the LilBro had one hell of a day. And I'm sure his began way before ours did. He must have played the scene over and over in his head. Oh and the hours he put in! Unbelievable. I kept tabs through his little cyber corner over here. That little boy we used to bribe to take his shirt off while dancing to Village People was hell bent on being an Ironman. I thought he was crazy when he told me he wanted to do this. But I also know something about people and dreams. And know you'd be crazier not to chase after a dream. And so like that package from Shopbop you can't wait to get your hands on, I tracked him down on the website like a mad woman.



keeping track

Swim? Check. Sigh of relief. Bike? Done. Can exhale now. Run? All done. I could finally sleep easy. Thirteen hours and fifty five minutes later he was officially an Ironman. Amazing. And really. He is.

For my brother, who makes me want to push harder.

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My comment in her blog reads:

'Thanks Sann. Its the thought of you guys which really kept me going. There's an Australian Pro (Amanda Balding) who, like you is a breast cancer survivor. I met her before the race, and during the race, every time we crossed paths, we egged each other on. I thought of you and what you went thru every single time. You are the original IRONWOMAN Sann :) Luvya Guys!'

What most people don't know was that I had orginally planned to do an Ironman to raise some funds for my sister's iCanServe foundation. Not that they need any, or that I would raise much, but I wanted to race for something bigger than myself.

As for the race, well it was tough. The gun shot off at 7:45 am, with U2 playing, almost unexpectedly. The swim was out and back 3.8km along the coast. It was tough as we faced a current heading out, but took advantage of it coming back. I came out of the water pretty relaxed and ready for the bike leg. This is where I slowly began to realize why they call this race THE TOUGHEST SHOW ON EARTH. The sun was starting to come up, and the hills just kept on coming. There were 2 hills in each loop wherein I was on my last gear, standing up, grinding at 30 cadence, barely moving. Most of the age groupers preferred to walk their bikes up the hill. Those hills would be on my mind the entire bike portion.

At around KM120 into the bike, I was starting to gas out. My body was rejecting calories, and so I decided to pace down and eat less, hoping my stomach would settle. I persevered thru the heat and headwinds, and came off the bike in pretty decent shape (or so I thought).

Hot Hot Hot!!!

The run portion consisted of a 5 lap 8km loop, plus 2km to and fro the transition/finish line. Coming out of the crazy-hot transition tent, I began shuffling the first kilometer. About 2km in, there was a short and steep bridge, which I decided to walk. On the downhill portion, I had resumed my jog. However, I kept thinking how good that walk felt. The blisters I had on my feet were not helping matters -- I named them Titleist and Precept since they were the size of golf balls.

I stopped in every aid station, and showered myself with sponges and water. I could still take no calories, so I relied on water and some electrolytes. I made the first loop in just over an hour. The walk-jog then started turning into more of a walk as my energy dropped to a low. Soon after that's all it was. With more than 21km left in the race, I had given up. The race had won. It was then that I had resigned myself to just finishing the race.

This journey started with a silly 5k. I call it silly because back then, that's all it really was. As the story goes, I egged Hannah into joining a 5k race, and to make the decision easier for her I told her I would run with her. And so we ran (or jogged) the Mizuno Infinity 5k, and finished in a decent 32:30. Two weeks later, I found a reason to quit smoking - triathlon. I borrowed a bike, learned how to swim, and joined the AAV Sprint Tri. This journey started with a silly 5k, and ended with an even sillier 9k.

Hannah began walking with me, in what would be the final 9km of my Ironman journey. While walking, she read text messages from friends and family. It was then when I started to realize how important this was not only to me, but to my friends and family. I had swallowed my pride, slowed down to a walk, but I held my head up high. I ran the final km, thru the chute, straight into Hannah's arms. I had failed, yet I had triumphed.

Finally Over!

In my eyes I had failed utterly, but in others' eyes, I had done something quite extraordinary. I guess what I could take from this experience, I quoted in my last blog entry -- '...at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.'

I guess there really is no shame in walking...for as long as it is towards the finish line.

For my family and friends, who have taught me how to triumph in defeat.

'And if you say to me tomorrow
Oh, what fun it all would be

then what's to stop us, pretty baby

but what is and what should never be'

From Led Zeppelin's 'What Is And What Should Never Be'



5 comments:

Ian said...

Congratulations on your accomplishment bro! Truly inspiring! You're indeed an IRONMAN!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations. Lahat ng nakakatapos ng Ironman is the man for me. Idol ko lahat yun until I finish one. Congrats ulit Mr. IRONMAN :)

Rico Villanueva said...

Hey Javy, time to get glasses or contacts, because in OUR eyes, you have indeed done something extra-ordinary. Congratulations!

Amanda said...

Javy, I am so proud of you :) I write this remembering you out there! I have tears for your sister... she must be so filled with emotion that you her little bro did something so amazing. What a gift for her to see. What I love about Ironman is that out there on the course and you can not hide. You come face to face with yourself. You must decide if you like who you are because no matter the out come you must go on. Weather you have to pull out and fight on another day , walk and be happy with the finish or run and do a best time you must know that at night you go to your bed knowing that you are proud of your efforts. In cancer not every day is a good day but every day is left with a prayer for another chance just one more day,week or year to live your life. Sometimes I finish a hard race such as I had in Langkawi and am very dissapointed with the time but I promise you that I am so so so so greatful for the opportunity to compete. Every day I am blessed to be out there. I may never win but that's ok as I won my fight for my life. A race 1st place means something but not everything. I look forward to seeing you out there again one day my friend in arms. I am proud of you and am thrilled to have met you :) Your new friend Amanda x

Unknown said...

Galing galing naman javs! Just decided to click on that link beside your name in YM and truly glad i did :) Miss you!